WHERE HAS CHRISTMAS GONE?

Merry Christmas MERRY CHRISTMAS merry christmas Merry Christmas
MERRY CHRISTMAS Merry Christmas MERRY CHRISTMAS merry christmas Merry Christmas MERRY CHRISTMAS Merry Christmas MERRY CHRISTMAS merry christmas
Merry Christmas MERRY CHRISTMAS Merry Christmas MERRY CHRISTMAS

Phew!!! Finally I have got it out!

My Christmas wishes have been constrained, bursting to come out for along time but Christmas has gone AWOL in America - not to be seen anywhere.

If I dare slip out the words Merry Christmas, I feel that instead of wishing that person best wishes during this time of kindness and goodwill - I have offended them - even the one's that do celebrate Christmas???.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

I hope you all have your Holiday Trees up and gift wrapped your Holiday Presents and are enjoying your Company Holiday Party.

The Holiday period seemed to begin straight after Thanksgiving - I guess for everyone apart from Darren and I, we still feel like we are on one big continuous holiday.

We enjoyed Thanksgiving in the company of our Australian house guests Todd and Tania and fellow SF Aussies Luke and Kathy – we indulged in lots of turkey, macaroni and cheese and pumpkin pie.

After giving thanks to Family, Friends, Chocolate and Red Wine we farewelled Todd and Tania back to Australia and Darren and I hit the road for our Thanksgiving Road trip.

Our one day in San Diego was action packed. The top of my list was a visit to the San Diego Zoo – that with the rest of the San Diego Population and visiting Tourists.


San Diego has a lot of Mexican influence – which is understandable since it was once part of Mexico, way back in the 1840's. When I think Mexico - I think Tequila. When I think Tequila - I think Margarita.

In preparation for our Holiday Christmas trip to Mexico we went in search for the Biggest Margarita we could find in Old Town San Diego - actually the biggest Margarita found us....we would have taken any size!


A quick visit to the remarkable looking Hotel del Coronado - where apparently every President since Lyndon Johnson has stayed. (Don't I sound like the wealth of knowledge on American Presidential History - thanks Lonely Planet!)

Hotel del Coronado, affectionately known the Del sits facing the ocean - where you can also enjoy ice skating on the beach. Our visit to Coronado was a surprising highlight for our trip to San Diego (thanks for the tip Adam).


Next stop - Heading back North, approximately 3 hours to Downtown Santa Barbara. An afternoon was spent strolling pretty State Street - full of superb shopping and interesting busking attractions.


Last but not least on our 3 day road trip was another visit to LA - I know most people don't like LA - but I love it, so I gladly showed Darren around the main tourist haunts of the city.

This was my first trip to Hollywood with access to a car - so destination Hollywood Hills & Beverly Hills. A quick stop at my old friend Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion – "What beautiful gates."

We were blown away with the extravagant, luxurious mansions and their beautifully manicured grounds that we encountered driving through Beverly and Hollywood Hills.

Our Mission in LA – to get as close to the Hollywood sign as we could. Wow!!! And what more we discovered this horse ranch hidden away among the Hollywood Hills.


The view of LA was pretty damn superb from up there in the Hollywood Hills. Another spectacular view of LA was found the same day, high up in the Santa Monica Mountains at the Getty Museum.

But my personal LA highlight – Having the Hollywood Bowl all to ourselves and enjoying my Bette Midler "Beaches" Moment, serenading Darren with "You are the wind beneath my wings".


As the curtain fell on my center stage performance, so did our "Thanksgiving" road trip together.

Darren gave thanks that he was able to jump on a plane to Australia and celebrate big birthday joy with Sister Donna and celebrate a 70 year birthday bash with his Dad.

The countdown to Christmas is now on - and we are excitedly awaiting our first trip to Mexico. Again we are fortunate enough to experience the hospitality of Bill and Maru and catch up with the Desolation Sound Survivor Crew.

Arriba Arriba!!!!!!

XX

Mel

MY HUSBAND ATE MY HOMEWORK

"Sorry Teacher – but my husband ate my blog entry"

Does that excuse me for being so late?
(I don't have a dog or cat)

So behind, that I struggle to remember everything that happened - I haven't been quite myself.

Diagnosis: Just not feeling 100%

Symptom: Believe I am a Musician

I vaguely remember in September being in Las Vegas with Darren, Sam and Jon - But I wasn't myself there - It was like I was a Rock star.








Oh! and I remember there being another man - something about him was a bit different??? ABS-olutely!!! (Shitz & Giggles Dazza!!!)


I thought once I got back to San Francisco - I would feel normal again.

Word around town was that the Folsom Street Fair was on. Great! A Local Fair, just like the good old days - play with the other kids and enjoy the fun rides and games.

Ummm!!! The other kids looked a bit different.....





And the rides and games seem to have changed - A lot!! since I was a kid



Oh! so that's the Folsom Street Fair - The festival I was told, "I had to visit at least, once in my lifetime"

The SF Gate describes as "Disneyland for Kinksters"

Folsom Street Fair, the world's largest daytime celebration of kinkiness, happens but once a year. This weekend, it's leather Christmas in the city — and if the weather holds up, we'll likely see the estimated 400,000 BDSM-lovin' attendees sweating it out in rubber and leather (or nothing at all) to get a taste of our very own internationally attended Disneyland for kinksters.

Time went on and I still wasn't feeling quite myself. Darren, being the terrific husband that he is suggested that I may not be getting enough Vitamins in my diet - Perhaps I was in need of some more vegetables - a pumpkin or two!
How did I feel after all that pumpkin?

Diagnosis: Still not myself .

Symptom: I started to believe I was Rehab Queen - Amy Winehouse.

TRICK OR TREAT ANYONE?

Current Symptoms: Feeling a lot better

Prognosis: With everything up to date, I will make a full recovery and be back to my normal self and keep to more regular updates from now on.

XX

Mel

MARITAL BLISS

Happy 1st Year Wedding Anniversary to Us

To keep with the traditional gift of paper, we ventured down to Fisherman's Wharf today in search of a Caricature Artist.

Although I may look a tad more American "collagen -silicon" woman than I would have hoped, I will treasure our $10.00 "paper" gift forever.

Our first year of marriage truly has been one big adventure - and there's only more exciting times ahead.

I can't wait to our fifth year anniversary to put our picture in an amazing wooden frame.

XX

Mel

BTW.... A more comprehensive entry will be along in the next week - slack Mel

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!

She waited anxiously at the arrival gate, absorbed in the environment around her; emotional re-encounters with loved one’s, excited tourists embarking on an American adventure, business types walking through with a “I do this every week arrogance’ whilst giving a nod of recognition to the chauffeur driver holding his name on the white card.

She found the sound of so many Australian accents comforting. Her anticipation level raised another notch, for any moment now she would see them walking along the exit corridor, bringing a conclusion to their 14 hour QF11 flight from Sydney to LA, and the three of them would embark on their belated honeymoon.

You may remember when I flew home for Sam and Jon’s wedding in April this year, well I have been excited about the honeymoon ever since.

For Sam and Jon were commencing their month long - around the world honeymoon, and the first stop on the itinerary was Los Angeles.

Sam and I had long been excited about reuniting amongst the glitz and glam of Hollywood and Jon was kindly obliging to his wife’s wishes that we could all embrace this special occasion together – who ever said ‘Three’s a Crowd”

It’s no secret that I have had a long time addiction to trashy weekly gossip mags, to get my weekly dosage of paparazzi pictures and celebrity gossip – but thanks to Perez Hilton, I now get to save at least $4.00 a week.

I was keeping a constant eye out for flashing camera’s chasing a Bentley, as it drove crazily away from the Designer boutiques on Rodeo Drive.

We were in luck – We had arrived in Celebrity Heaven - A List all the way.

The first celebrities we encountered I could confidently class as being of the highest calibre - Super Stardom, Icons, Cream of the Crop and there was no way we were missing out on a photo opportunity.


Yes! Mickey and Minnie Mouse were very down to earth and welcoming on our arrival to Disneyland.

I was so excited to be at Disneyland, like a scene out of BIG I closed my eyes and became a thirteen year old – or was is it 8 ??



Space Mountain, Splash Mountain and Buzz Light Year were some of our favourites.

However, there was a special place in my heart reserved for ‘It’s a Small World.’ It took me back to my childhood dream to visit ‘Disneyland’ – The Happiest Place on the Earth.

Day Two of our Anaheim Adventure took us to the Adjacent Park – California Adventureland.

Encore performances of the Hollywood Hotel - Tower of Terror Ride and repeat performances on The Speedster.


We named our friend Mini Daz – the 3 of us had our poses pre choreographed, so were most impressed with Mini Daz’s impromptu contribution.

We all had an exhilarating time (Go on Jon, admit you had fun) but on our departure from Disneyland, little did we know a whole new ride was beginning.

The brochure’s description:

The ride commences with 3 occupants deciding to take a train back to their Hollywood Hotel from Disneyland.

Completely ignore the fact that no tourist information suggested this form of transport as a feasible option - and do not be deterred by the fact that no Anaheim Tourist Operator appeared to even know where the Anaheim Train Station was located.

Upon boarding the train enjoy the casual scenic ride for 30 minutes before the gut- wrenching dips and turns will nauseate you. The ride will peak at the point when you realize that you are no longer on track to your destination - in fact you are completely off the track and there are no more trains for the evening, you must make a split second decision.

• Do you get off at the next stop - desolated, with no option but the hope that taxi's operate in 'these parts'?
• Get off at a larger station along the line - that you are warned by fellow passengers, "I wouldn't drive my car through that area"

After deciding on Option 1 - Your Knight in Shining Armour arrives, care of the local cab company, along for the ride will be his girlfriend – excited for her first ever trip to Hollywood.

So after a lengthy and expensive taxi trip the ride is about to come to an end – with one quite incredible BANG!!!!!

Quite literally - Your country bumpkin taxi driver, will forget the need to check lanes in the big city and on the prime location of Hollywood Boulevard the ride comes to an end, Crash, Boom, Bang into the side of a BMW SVU.

REVIEW: √√ At the time of the ride, I thought it was a over-rated; expensive & long but after time to reflect - it was entertaining. Would I do it again? Nah!!!!

Not all the Thrills & Spills in Hollywood have to cost a lot of money – and there is one cheap and easy way to see celebrities.

Emphasis on C – elebrities.

Go to a taping of a show, there are a lot to choose from:

• Late Night talk shows that are actually filmed at 3pm in the afternoon
  
• Wheel of Fortune
• Deal or No Deal
  
• Ellen.

For us it was MTV’s Celebrity Rap Superstars, taking to the stage were the one and only Perez Hilton, Hugh Hefner’s Bunny - Kendra, K’Fed’s ex - Shar Jackson, Skid Row’s Sebastian Bach.

We took our prime front row positions next to the rap mentors – including; D12’s Bizarre, Tone Loc and D.M.C

Yo!! Hugh Hefner joined us in da house!!

We anticipated that the stage manager would move us “white oldies” from the front of the stage – but we stayed there for the whole show and just got into character, pretending that our Calvin’s were showing, whilst our jeans hanged below our bum cheeks.

The footage below of Shar Jackson's performance was the best I could find to see us Hanging with the Homies. When the camera zooms to the Rap mentor sitting on the side of the stage - is the best chance to see a glimpse of the Australian Gangsters in the crowd.



Who knew that by watching all these celebrities on stage would inspire me to want to be the center of attention myself – of course we all knew!!!!

But there are too many stars as it is in Hollywood – I would choose our next destination to take the stage – Las Vegas.

Darren joined us for all the fun and excitement of Vegas.

And as I say....

"What Happens in Vegas - Stays in Vegas
Will make a great blog story!"

XX

Mel

NEW YORK... NEW YORK...

SING WITH ME

CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS, THEY SAY!!!

WELCOME TO MEL'S GUIDE
NYC IN 48 HOURS
(With very little sleep)

THE FLIGHT:

Nothing beats a Red Eye flight on a Friday evening, especially if you don't want to sacrifice precious weekend tourist hours.

BONUS - You are pretty much guaranteed very little or no sleep. Starting the weekend deprived of a good snooze is really living Frankie's dream.

AIRPORT ARRIVAL:

To get more tourist bang for your buck - look at flying into Newark Airport, New Jersey. Newark airport is actually 1.9 miles closer to Times Square than JFK airport.

BONUS: If you are a penny pincher traveller who is into quantity not quality - you can tick a whole State off your 'To Do List'.

ACCOMMODATION:

New York accommodation is EXPENSIVE!!.
Always good to have friends scattered in different cities around the world.

Many thanks to Elizabeth for allowing us to crash at her "pad" in Weehawken, New Jersey.

Elle's apartment building on Boulevard East, sits alongside the Hudson River, providing a "magnificent" view of the NYC landscape.

Those open minded travellers on a budget, without friends in NYC can make new friends by staying on a stranger's couch, c/o - Couchsurfing.com

The non profit organization's motto - "Participate in Creating a Better World, One Couch At A Time"

"CouchSurfing isn't about the furniture- it's not just about finding free accommodations around the world- it's about participating in creating a better world. We strive to make a better world by opening our homes, our hearts, and our lives. We open our minds and welcome the knowledge that cultural exchange makes available. We create deep and meaningful connections that cross oceans, continents and cultures. CouchSurfing wants to change not only the way we travel, but how we relate to the world! " - FAQ couchsurfing.com

TOURIST ACTIVITIES:

For my first 48 hour visit to New York City it was all about sight seeing.

No Shopping Allowed - Simply No Time

To save time and see lots, we purchased our tickets for the Big Red Bus.
Great value to see all the sights, 48 hours of Hopping on - Hopping Off.

One Negative X - Tip Expectations

You pay a decent amount for your bus ticket, that entitles you to hop on and off to your heart's content.

However, each time that you jump on a new bus, the new guide expects a couple of dollars for a tip.

They continuously mention it as they point out scenic sights, and have no fear in making their opinion known if you leave without a contribution to their tip jar.

TIP.... The word originates from the 16th century verb tip, which meant "to give unexpectedly"

Nothing Unexpectant about tipping in NYC - Do or Get Abused!!

Standard sights you get to see as part of the tour include: Times Square, Lower Manhattan, Upper Manhattan, Brooklyn Bridge, Chinatown, East Village, SoHo, Empire State Building, Ground Zero, Harlem, United Nations Building, Central Park, Madison Square Gardens, Brooklyn.

We encountered our own fun along the way - and stopped to enjoy the the acts of some fine buskers and reliving our youth, gaining a front row position to watch a performance in F.A.O Scwarz Toy Store recreating the famous piano scene from Tom Hanks movie - BIG.

FINE DINING:

When you are culinary snobs like ourselves, there is only one meal to enjoy in New York City.

ENTERTAINMENT:

There's no excuse for not having an evening activity scheduled in New York City, every 2nd person in Times Square is trying to sell you tickets to Broadway, Comedy Clubs or Girly Shows. What ever is your 'thing' - it can be found in NYC.

So stay out for the night - have a few drinks and remember don't go to sleep - this city never sleeps.

• One too many cocktails, on a sleep deprived night out should get you in the mood - or was that just me!!
• HA! Comedy Club should keep you cracking a smile and a chuckle for a few hours,
• Continue the night in a cheesy Piano bar to keep you dancing to the wee hours.

Highlights:

• Darren getting hit on by a Cougar (his descriptive term - Not mine).

Urban Dictionary's (censored) definition:
1. Cougar
An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie.

• The Piano Man played our Bridal Waltz song - American Hero "Believe it Or Not" - Hello Miss Cougar, may I have my husband back for this dance please?

WORD OF WARNING - For a productive 2nd day of sight seeing - I recommend saying no to the last cocktail.

The sweet words whispered into my ears in the early hours went along the lines of:

"Oh you're going to be a mess tomorrow".

Yes I did sneek in a couple of hours of sleepy time - I hoped Frankie wasn't looking down

More sight seeing the next day and my fleeting visit to New York City was nearly over.


What did I think?

It was fun to experience that sense of Deja Vu, as you have seen so many of sights in the movies and television shows. Two days (one being a tad blurry) is definitely not enough, shopping is definitely a necessity.

Q. Has my New York experience inspired me to change my name?
A. No!!!

Explanation: Darren's ex neighbor in Newport was so obsessed with New York that he officially changed his surname to Manhattan - Mr Manhattan.

With my name intact it was time for me to say Good Bye to New York and Good Bye to my Hubby.

Darren stayed the week for work, with Todd - All Work & No Play.

Darren, Todd and Christine enjoying Lobster in the Hamptons

Darren enjoyed a visit to the Hampton's with our Desolation Sound Companions (see previous post).

Let us not overlook Darren's first Policeman encounter - The legit right hand turn on a red light isn't so legal over the East.

No fear:

• Slap on the 'Ocker' Aussie accent.
• Throw in a "Mate" and you will be on your way in no time at all.
• Chuck in a "Crikey" and the friendly policeman will even give directions to your next destination.

Darren returned home in time to say good bye, before I ventured off to Los Angeles to holiday with Sam and Jon, who were on their belated Honeymoon. Does something sound "not quite right with that sentence?"

That's a whole nother story....

As Gotham City is known to be architecturally modeled after New York City.

Tune in for "LA Story" this time next week.

Same Bat Time
Same Bat Channel

XX
The Slightly Batty
Mel

NEW YORK, LOS ANGELES, LAS VEGAS

It's been a busy few weeks....

• Lost in LA
• Taxi Crash in Hollywood
• Hypnotized in Las Vegas
• Hugh Heffner and the Playboy Bunnies
• Darren's meet and greet with the NY Police Officer
  

It's all been happening - and I look forward to sharing it with you by the end of the week.

XX
Mel

SURVIVOR - DESOLATION SOUND

Through the pages of history, we know that famous voyages on the high seas by the likes of Christopher Columbus and Captain Cook provided many historical discoveries.

My recent boating endeavor did not uncover any new findings that would change the history of the world but I definitely had my share of first experiences and new discoveries.

"Minor things can become moments of great revelation when encountered for the first time".
- Margot Fonteyn

Darren and I spent a week in August, cruising the waters of Desolation Sound - amongst the islands off the British Columbia coast.

Thanks to the wonderful K' family, they welcomed us in on their special family time and took us on a fantastic journey.

Our trip began with the first of my new experiences – THE SEAPLANE √





Correction: 2nd – First new experience was my stepping onto Canadian soil √.

Darren and I joined, Todd, Christine and Ryan on our first flight in a Seaplane or float plane. Leaving the city of Vancouver behind we comfortably flew the skies in the historic 1949 Beaver aircraft.

Arriving an hour later in the quaint marine village of Refuge Cove,where we were greeted by Christine’s parents; Bill & Maru and their son Brian & his partner Shannon. We were all ready to set sail on IMAGINE – the poor boat would never be the same again.

The 9 of us stocked up on life's necessities from the local store. The comment overheard from another docked boat went something along the lines of:

"Quick!! let’s get some beer, it looks like that lot are taking it all".

Oh yes, the drinks were a constant flow… and there were new discoveries to be found there too (believe it or not).

1. Introduction to quality white tequila…. Made into mouth watering Tequila Martini’s "Teqini's" √
2. The 'not quite right' Caesar √- like a Bloody Mary but made with Clamato Juice (a mixture of tomato & clam juice).

We spent our days cruising the waters, playing in the lakes with Frisbees and searching for food.

Oh yes! We all played a role in hunting for our food during our stay on the boat.

• Brian (aka Aqua boy) and Darren dived for crab.
• I couriered them back to the boat, with a bucket – the biggest I could find tied to the kayak, so the crabs with a reputation for ripping off fingers could not escape and fall onto my lap. (photo)
• The boys took the rowboat out for some fishing.
• There were prawn nets lowered and oysters to collect off the shore and shucked √.
  

So with us hunting for food, you would probably assume that our meals were fairly basic?
Absolutely Not!!!! Fine Dining was the order of the day - Morning, Afternoon and Night.

Breakfast: Mexican Porridge, Mexican Eggs, Egg Mc Muffins
Lunches: Prawns, Enchiladas, Fresh Seafood and Clam Chowder
Dinners: Japanese Night, Seafood Night, Curry Night, Lamb Shanks with Figs √.

Lots of first's again; with Oysters √, Clam Chowder √ and the interesting and delicious taste of Sea Cucumber √ - all fresh from the open sea floor below us.

The scenery surrounding us was breathtaking… the glaciers, mountains, the crystal clear waters to swim in and the logs to play on. Fresh lakes could be found to swim, wash and play.
Or just to look like we were auditioning for a Norsca Fresh commercial from the early 80’s (oh!! what were we thinking?)

Then there was the silly question I asked on our first venture to the lake:

Q. Are there leeches in the lake?

A. Ha Ha Ha off course there’s not.



Q. What is this you may ask?

A. That is the leech that I found on my bottom.

(I apologize now for any images that are perhaps are now flashing before you, but it was traumatic and I feel the need to share this experience with my family and friends).

But yet! I had never been attacked by a leech before - so another first. √

There was "daggy" dancing and camp fires, where Darren and I were introduced to the S'more.√


We may look like competitors of 'Survivor - Desolation Sound' but there were no struggles to exist for our week on IMAGINE, thanks to the great company of our fellow crew members but mostly thanks to the overwhelming hospitality of Maru & Bill - Thank you so much!!! We truly had an awesome vacation and forever fantastic memories of our trip to Desolation Sound.

XX

Mel


Special Note:

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY SHANNON

Sorry - a little bit late but we are so glad you had a fantastic party
Wish we were there

XX

Mel & Daz

THE EX FACTOR

Now I hope not to surprise Darren with this revelation, but I had other boyfriends before him, but they weren’t “marriage material”.

How did I know they were not The One? Many reasons really, but there was one defining factor, I abided by a strict anti PDA rule – Yes, I was ANTI Public Display of Affection. Which meant: very limited hand holding, kissing and the golden rule - absolutely none of that quick smooch across the car’s center console whilst stopping at traffic lights. What would the passengers in the car behind us think?

Darren had to endure a probation period but before long there was hand holding and there was no going back - obviously he was "The One".

So with PDA all in the clear, I have a need to be ANTI something…..

I am hoping my new ANTI will be permanent, otherwise my standards are really slipping.

I declare myself: ANTI PDU.

There is a lot to love about San Francisco, I love that there is always something on, the cute architecture, the diversity. However, unfortunately there is a serious homeless problem in this city. I found it quite confronting at first but sadly you get used to it and don’t notice the beggars looking for a quarter or any spare change. Some choose to ask quietly from the side of the pavement, some are a little more in your face, and some entertain with signs or pretending to be trees along the Embarcadero. One thing a great number of them have in common is a fondness for PDU.

Public Displays of Urination

The streets of San Francisco around the Financial District and the South of Market Area are like public urinals. I have witnessed a number of PDU Display’s, slap bang in the middle of public footpaths.

A quick realization usually prevents any long lasting permanent mental damage, but what I find most offensive is the wafting urination smell that can (and does) hit you out of the blue as you stroll along. My job is just down the road from our apartment and I love everything about my new job, except the fact that sections of the walk to work are obviously popular areas to "see a man about a dog".

So yes my new job is just a short 10 minute walk to work….Introducing myself:
Senior Accountant @ videoegg.
The links fills you in on everything I do and more about this great online video company.

Demonstrating the Videoegg online platform below is footage from Darren’s first road bike race that he participated in over the weekend.

The race footage and post race interview was filmed by the local news team (there's that poetic licensing creeping in again). There was a pre-race interview but the cameraman didn’t press record…hard to find competent help these days.


The race wasn't any old road race, it was a 'Criterium' race to be exact– Westcoastel.com explains:

“Criteriums are the bicycling equivalent of the Indy 500. Fast. Exciting to watch and somewhat dangerous to race contestants".

A criterium, known among racers as a "crit", is the most popular form of bike racing in the US, for several reasons. The race course is a closed circuit track around downtown streets. Racers complete a lap a minute. traveling at speeds exceeding 30 m.p.h. And sometimes, because of the speed, the tight corners and four dozen racers packed closely, there are spectacular crashes.

The race was certainly pretty intense and after a couple of crashes, one including our Aussie friend Luke (no injury to rider or bike). It appeared that both Darren and Luke cared more for their bikes well-being than their own personal safety - all for the sake of a medal.

I was there to cheer him on and be the good supportive wife.

Of course prerace I was talking it up how I could participate in the womens race. I had my Schwinn Hybrid bike from Target with my basket on the handle bars and wearing my non lycra cargo shorts - I didn’t look the part but I had the determination - or at least talked it up like I did.

Guess What? Darren also has an Ex girlfriend... what did he learn from her?

The quote he delivered when buying the cheap Target bike, went along the lines of,

"We are only buying you a cheap bicycle, I don't want to make the same mistake as I made with my ex-girlfriend, buying her an expensive bike that she only ever used twice".

Well if anything is going to motivate me to kick some serious bike riding butt, it's a comment like that - Hello!!!!! that's why she wasn't marriage material.

It appears that I must have proven myself, because good wifey got a present, my upgraded bike. I never thought I would feel such love but it's so cute.


I may have to delete this previous post. It's time for some lycra, Watch out Dazza!!! I have some hill climbs to conquer.

And now just for fun..... whether at home or passing the hours at work - visit Simpsonizeme.com and you too can upload a photo of yourself and be Simpsonized like Darren and I.

There's some marriage material right there

Anyone know if PDU is popular in Springfield? If not I might move there.... my Simpson hubby looks hot!!!


XX
Mel

KEEP YOUR PECKER UP

What!!! No buff Lieutenant in a camouflage t-shirt screaming commands at me.

That was what I previously experienced in Sydney but San Franciscans appear to be a tad soft. Boot Camp started yesterday morning - nice and early. Not as intimidating as Sydney but it still accomplished the goal of getting the heart rate up and to enliven some dormant muscles.

Who knows what the motivating factor was that possessed me to do it, but I do know that group outdoor activity is the only form of exercise (apart from our leisurely bike rides) that I tend to embrace. Exercising in the apartment’s free on site fitness center bores me, I simply don't have the will power to persevere after the first huff and puff.
Darren has graciously offered to save the $200 boot camp fees and take on the role of Sergent Daz but that has a tendency to end in a dummy spit of some description.

I guess PREVENTION is my motivation to participate; not letting the flabby bits get too wobbly or that authentic looking baby belly of mine appearing like I am getting another month closer to delivery…

Lotions, Potions, Pills, Designer Salons are everywhere, to provide prevention for everything from: hair loss, wrinkles, sagging bits n bobs , high cholesterol, tooth decay, 'most of us' seem to participate in some degree of preventative action.

With our seven-year anniversary celebrated over the weekend little did Darren know I have been doing a little bit of extra prevention - in the lead up to our significant milestone.

Now I know that the seven-year itch is all about the ‘Years of Marriage’, not just total years together, but I don’t think there is any harm in using preventative measures to guarantee smooth sailing through this celebratory event.

So for the last couple of weeks I have mischievously been crushing these special "7 Year Itch Prevention Tablets" and hiding them in his meals (visualize what pet owners do when worming or medicating their dogs and cats)

I was able to buy the tablets after watching an ad on television, featuring a young newly maturing couple looking all loved up and happy on their anniversary.

All thanks to the 7 Year Itch Prevention Tablets.

TV and magazine advertising for pharmaceutical drug companies is allowed in the United States – in fact it is the only industrialized nation in the world to allow drug ads on television.

The TV advertising generally shows actors role-playing people whose lives are in disarray and then miraculously, thanks to the consumption of the medication, the actor’s life is transformed completely. The picturesque scene then tends to end with a split second screen listing the adverse side effects that you don’t actually get to read.

I took the time to read the side effects for the 'Itch Prevention Tablets' because I didn’t want Darren to know that I was doping him. On close inspection the only caution was as follows:

Consumer may experience a higher level of intestinal gas:
(flatulence, belching and bloating).

Oh Yes!!! I felt pretty confident that Darren would definitely be none the wiser.

When I haven’t been doping my husband, Darren and I have been pretty boring really, getting into some of those mundane duties - like job interviews and having to work.

We have been focusing our spare time on uncovering the secret treasures of San Francisco.

Q. Do you know where the Fortune Cookie originated?

A.
Yes indeed! Right here in the Japanese Tea Gardens in San Francisco Golden Gate Park.
Who would have thought?

Although many have disputed the claim, the Court of Historical Rule declared that the Fortune Cookie was invented by Makoto Hagiwara, a gardener at the Japanese Tea Gardens in 1909.

I got a little transfixed on the Fortune Cookie for abit - they taste so good.
So after a bit more research and thanks to some reviews on Yelp.com, I discovered a dingy little factory in Chinatown, where some ladies sit and manually fold the 'hot off the press' cookies. We met the well known little Chinese man that welcomes all his visitors and I paid my $1 bill to take his photo. We left with our X-rated bag of mixed original and chocolate Fortune Cookies.

X-Rated you may ask - well the reviews all mentioned that they were simply entertaining and not at all what you would rate as explicit.

I did however make the mistake of offering our x-rated cookies to some colleagues and when they cracked open the following, I didn't hear the end of it all day....

Fu Ling Yu Says:
As is said in Australia, "Keep Your Pecker Up."

Q. Who says that???

A. Only the Americans in the office... with a giggle every time they walked past me.



As my fortune would have it I received a call this morning from the Financial Controller of a pretty funky Internet based company that I went to an interview with earlier this week. The temp work wasn't really working out all that well for Darren Me. Two days on, followed by four days off, wasn't the best scenario for someone who has been living it up for the past four months, Of course I agree wholeheartedly. So it appears they want me, shucks!!! I start on Thursday.

Good Fortune to you all... and remember

Keep Your Pecker Up!!!

XX

Mel

DISCLAIMER.DISCLAIMER.DISCLAIMER

Sometimes life in a different country, simply doesn't offer any newsworthy content..
Bills must be paid, the occasional days must be spent on the couch doing nothing but watching Home & Away and McLeod's Daughters episodes on YouTube.

In these dire situations , I resort to Poetic Licensing.... or put quite simply, I make stuff up.

To be clear, of course I would never dope my husband, or treat him like a dog for that matter.

But I must say occasionally I do feel like I am on something... Darren??????

ALIENS HAVE ARRIVED

It seems fitting that the week we celebrated 4th July – Independence Day, that I received the sacred envelope in the post. A passport to independence: The Homeland Security issued Work Authorization Card.

I stand proud as a “Legal Alien allowed to Work”

As a new titleholder of a Work Authorization Card, all that stood in the way from relinquishing my ‘Lady of Leisure’ title was to obtain the crucial Social Security Number.

I made the uneducated decision to visit the SS office at the brand spanking new (personal opinion – UGLY) Federal Building.

After a weary 3-hour wait, in what I now know as the busiest Social Security Office in San Francisco, full of dare I say "lots of crazy people," I finally received my all important Social Security Number.

How quickly one’s life can change, one day you don’t exist, then thanks to the issue of one small card and a nine digit number - you have a presence.

Now, not only am I a Legally Recognized Alien, lo and behold, I am now completely set-up to have……..

MY IDENTITY STOLEN

Identity Theft is a humongous issue in this country, last year there were over 8 million cases of identity fraud, it causes the victims tremendous stress; never knowing what new charge will appear on their credit card statement.


During our 4th July lunch with Luke and Kathy, Luke mentioned this article, a local case of stolen identity that affected one San Francisco woman.

Our lunch with Luke and Kathy was our first trip to explore the Castro Neighborhood. The “Gay” Village of San Francisco proudly draped with the rainbow colors from the light poles and overflowing with good looking, well dressed guys…. and lots of them. After enjoying lunch at The Sausage Factory we continued to be tour guides and checked out more city sights.

The previous weekend Darren’s boss kindly guided us on a tour to Monterey Bay Aquarium, then along the spectacularly scenic 17 Mile Drive to reach the picturesque town of Carmel by the Sea (pop 4400).




Carmel had been on my destination wish list, so I was feeling pretty lucky to be there. In the voice of the famous Clint Eastwood, the one time Mayor of Carmel….

You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

"Dirty" Harry Callahan” 1971

I do feel pretty lucky and fortunate that I also have been able to lead a pretty cruisey lifestyle the last four months, but all good things must come to an end. Tomorrow, I have my first temp assignment… and I’m Excited.

XX

Mel

LOVE A HAND-ME-DOWN

9.37am - Friday 29th June 2007

There are dates that everyone knows: 25th December, 4th July (US), 25th April (AUS), 8th April (maybe not).

Now there is another date to care about, a date that will be known and remembered in history. (Or Not).

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!

That day is finally here, Alleluia!!.

In this previous entry I spoke of Darren’s weird, somewhat obsessive passion for all things Apple, well today Friday 29th June 2007 marks the long awaited release of the much hyped Apple iPhone.

For the last month Darren has been keeping me up to speed with regular daily count downs, previews of the iPhone commercials that he has taken the time to download off the internet. Earlier in the week I was lucky enough to sit through “compulsory family viewing” of the iPhone online user guide.

The hysteria is not exclusive to the large 'geek’ population of San Francisco, it is nationwide. With a release time of 6pm it pains Darren to know that he will receive a call at approximately 3pm. Darren's mate in Florida will be calling to boast about his iPhone purchase at least 3 hours before Darren is capable of sharing the jubilation

I fear I am only a few hours away from Darren sending me to work.

My job description: To stand in a long line, counting away
the hours on the sidewalk of San Francisco.

My free labour would avoid the need to pay one of the many people advertising their services on Craigslist to stand in line for the iPhone release.
There are literally hundreds of ads on the web advertising their availability at costs ranging from $25.00 to $350.oo

Jun-27 IWait Overnight for Your IPhone - $350
Jun-27 Probably the best iPHONE line waiter in San Francisco - $200
Jun-26 Will wait in line for you at Apple Store Valley Fair for Iphone - $25

Crazy New Yorkers have been waiting in line for 3 days. So in reality Darren is only a mild fanatic, and won’t require specialist medical attention quite yet…

To be perfectly honest as I type away on my hand-me-down Apple Powerbook computer, I am excited in the knowledge that in a few short hours I will be conversing on my new hand me down Blackberry Phone.


8.15pm - Friday 29th June 2007

Although Darren’s original plan was to venture down to the store at 7pm hoping that the line would have diminished, he could not help himself, the anticipation was too much.

On our arrival at 6:30pm we were discouraged by a line that still extended around the corner and out of sight from the store.

But after a short 30 minute wait this video shows the excitement that greeted us.




I have entertained myself by stirring Darren with Shitz n’ Gigglz all day but I can appreciate his admiration for what he describes as "A Revolutionary Mobile Phone".

I’ll be eagerly awaiting the future upgraded models, the perfect opening for my next hand-me-down opportunity.

XX

Mel
Sent from Blackberry

HIP TO BE SQUARE

Last entry I expressed my elation at sighting one bear in Yosemite National Park, well imagine my excitement when witnessing over 400 gorillas running through Golden Gate Park.

DO NOT FEAR, it was not a frenzied mass of feral primates; there was no danger to our lives. A ‘whoop’ of friendly gorillas participating in the Great Gorilla Run, raising over 100K for the Gorilla Organization.



The Gorilla Organization is focused on saving the last 700 remaining mountain gorillas in Uganda, Rwanda and the Congo. Darren and I were volunteering at the event after I had met the events co-ordinator Margaret at another volunteering function.

It was very much ‘Gorillas in the Mist’ on our arrival into the park early last Sunday morning. Considering I have been told on more than one occasion that I strike a resemblance to Sigourney Weaver, I fitted right in. (It must be the hair).


There were Elvis Gorilla’s, Viking Gorillas, nipple pierced and dancing gorilla’s… there was something for everyone. This clip gives a good overview of the day.

We were looking through this photographers photos on flickr and Darren almost felt famous. There are some 500 pictures but if you have time or desire, you can play a fun game of Where’s Wally Dazza with the first hundred or so photos.

This past weekend, Darren had so much fun he was going to do a special guest contribution. Unfortunately he pulled out (deadline restrictions, or some lame excuse) so that leaves me….
That’s okay because I had fun as well.

On Friday, my Aussie volunteer friend Rachael invited us to have lunch with her fiancé at the Google Headquarters (Googleplex) in Mountain View.

The Google Offices have eleven restaurants on site, all offering free Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner to its employees and their occasional guests (like us).

I could not work in such an environment…. Continuous free food every day, I would self-destruct explode.

Maybe that is why there are company cruiser bikes outside every door - to work off each meal. The Googleplex is so large they supply these Cruiser bikes and electric scooters to get around the different buildings. Group exercise is also encouraged with the 7 seater conference bike. I couldn’t imagine having a serious meeting on the contraption but it was a lot of fun.


Luke lead us on an interesting tour of the complex. Due to security measures, photo opportunities were limited, however there are some good insider snaps on this Time Magazine website.

It is easy to see why Google has topped the Fortune magazine’s List of the “100 Best Companies to Work For.”. Everything they need is there on campus: doctor, dentist, hairdresser, masseur, fitness centre, carwash and a free laundromat.

Friday Review: 10/10 (A First-Rate Day)
-Cheap √
-New Experiences √
-FUN… and great ice-cream √

Saturday we were back in the city, the weather was pretty average compared to the sunshine that you would find in Silicon Valley, but it was ideal weather for a lazy afternoon. An outing to the nearby cinema for a matinee session of Ocean’s Thirteen was the order of the day.

Now this movie is the perfect example of my previous entry’s topic regarding setting the right expectation level. Had I not read any reviews for this movie my expectations would have been low and I probably would have left happy. You see, three years on, I am still waiting for my refund for ‘2 hours of my life back’ after watching Oceans Twelve.

With all the hype and reviews stating that Thirteen was the “Best Oceans Movie Yet” I was expecting more than just a bit of eye candy on the big screen.

In the words of Randy Jackson from American Idol:
“Yo Yo!! It was okay, it was just okay for me”

Saturday Review: 5/10 (A Mediocre Day)
-Cheap (Budget session time & a free pass) √
-Average Movie X
-Annoying little ‘yappers’ sitting next to me X

Considering how little our weekend had cost us so far…(I am including Friday - because to be honest Darren didn’t get a lot of work done) we were cruising along nicely.

Now, you could be excused for thinking my blog heading: HIP TO BE SQUARE relates to the thousands of little geeks running around the ultra cool Googleplex - but that wasn’t my intention.

It relates to our Sunday entertainment. Yesterday we continued our frugalous ways and cycled our way over to Stern Grove for their free Concert Festival….

Kicking off this annual festival was a blast from the past..

HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS

Darren was particularly excited to hear some of the old favourites:

• Power of Love
• Hip to be Square
• If This is It.
  

I must admit I wanted to hear Jacobs Ladder, a song I remember loving in primary school when I was 12, unfortunately it didn’t make the play list. It was fun day celebrating in the splendour of Stern Grove.

We danced along with the oldies and the youngies (a free event is good for enticing a real mixed crowd)

We gave some thought to our Dear Dads, as it was Father’s Day over here yesterday…
We Love you Dad's

Review for Sunday: 9/10 – (Couldn’t want for much more day)
- Free concert by a decent band (sure they may have had their day) √

It lost one point for not playing Jacobs Ladder. But hey it was enjoyable, and it was free so beggars can’t be choosers.

I will have to see what penny-wise activity I can find for next weekend.

These months of being unemployed are teaching me how to be a good bargain hunter, I have even found a 3 day a week volunteer gig that have offered to reimburse me in clothes and good ones at that. I am building quite the corporate wardrobe in preparation for my reinvention as a working woman.

Watch out WoodWoodsfrugalousfrills coming to a blog site near you.

Hey!! I’ve got the time.

I don’t think frugalous is a word…. But I like it!!!

Back to the subject of look-alikes. I was talking to my mum last night and we were discussing the movie “Just like Heaven” that was set in San Francisco.

Mum and I agreed that Darren reminded us of the lead actor, Mark Ruffalo - (More than just the hair).


Can’t say that either of us have been asked for autographs yet though.

XX

Mel

P.S.. Congratulations to my cousin Sarah and her husband Nathan, we have heard the exciting news that you are expecting your first child and we couldn't be happier for you both...Congrats Again.
Love Mel & Darren